Hitlers Last Writing

It's drawing to an end. I can feel it. I don't know if this is the write thing to do. I stare at my pistol every day wondering... should I use it? I don't want to but if I don't I will have o suffer even more than WWI. I don't know if I can handle any more.

I need help, if I don't get any I might use It. I don't want to use It. It might hurt, but I might have no choice. It's either It or humiliation. The time is coming but yet it is taking so long. I can't make myself do this... but I want to.

I pick It up every day wanting to use it but just holding off. I don't think I will have a life worth living for after the war. All the gullible Germans following my lead. Once the Allies get to the camps my secrets will be reveled and they will never trust me. I think it's time...